Spatula of the Month

I'm sure you've read all about this weekend's festivities on someone else's blog by now, so I'll just thrill you with stats and fun facts.

Saturday's homerun derby produced two especially memorable moments. In the final round, Joe and I went head-to-head, trying to hit the most homeruns before we got ten outs (any swing that is not a home run is an out). Joe started fast, hitting three homers before his third out. Two outs later, he hit another one to left, several feet over the fence, but I make the day's first robbery, a catch at full extension that could only have been made with my first baseman's glove. That combination of luck, skill, and serendipity took the wind out of Joe's sails, as he froze at three homers and I took the crown without breaking a sweat, 11-3. I won't venture a guess as to how many of the guys tanked the second round on purpose to let the birthday boy (as I was called several times that day) win his own event, but I'll offer a special thanks here to anyone who did.

More impressively, after cranking five homers with just five outs, including three straight bombs that clinched a spot in the second round, Rob decided to offer at an up-and-in pitch from Eric. He turned towards left and lofted one straight into the stadium lights, sending glass cascading to the top of the ground as if he were re-enacting the end of The Natural.

Homerun Derby Results
Round One (ten outs)
6 Anonymous Contestants, 0
Brad, 1
Jeff, 1
Joe, 3
Pat, 3
Eric, 4
Rob, 6
Me, 7
Mike, 10

Round Two (five outs)
Pat, 2
Eric, 2
Rob, 2
Mike, 2
Joe, 3
Me, 5

Final Round (ten outs)
Joe, 3
Me, 11

In the ensuing baseball game (played sans deathguard but with tennis balls instead of baseballs), Joe's team rode solid defense and a giddy derby champ throwing meatballs dead center to an 11-7 lead, but couldn't touch Rob's consistent regimen of change-ups over the alst four innings and lost to my team, 19-11. Rob and I each homered in a 7-run last inning off Matt, who had been solid over the first seven innings, possibly not having yielded a single earned run.

For details of the evening events, you'll have to speak to me or another participant directly, but I'll offer a few teasers. Jaron threw change where change shouldn't be thrown, mentioned Gee when Gee shouldn't have been on his mind, and made creative use of a Fritos Scoop. Joe instisted that he'd always wanted to beat the Moynihans in darts despite having met the Moynihans a night earlier. Mike browned out through the Fritos Scoop incident, so it's probably best to leave him in the dark about that part.

Meanwhile, let's direct all prayer towards the Red Sox, White Sox, and Indians, who can make this postseason the best since 1993, when Joe Carter walked off with a memorable homer and baseball's innocence.