Halloween

Things I'm less likely to do this weekend than last weekend:

-dress as a giant peapod with eyes stuck to my shirt
-pose repeatedly behind Jill with two giant peas pinned to her matching shirt
-attend party at previous residence wearing one of said peas with black eye
-discuss merits of Stevie Wonder albums and intergender cohabitation with Kervin
-watch party guests drink from human box of wine
-help Jill replace all basement lights with blacklights in preparation of Haunted House
-attend Jill's 7th annual Halloween party at Linda's
-pretend to be caught in human bug zapper
-laugh at a Waist of Time, a deviled egg, and two much more professional iPods
-repeatedly emerge from hidden room in my basement wearing mask and scaring innocent partygoers
-sweep one game of flipcup and protest aborted second game after blowing incident
-drink 12-15 shots of Jagermeister, Peppermint schnapps, Blackhaus, and Sambuca from an ice luge
-serve 12-15 shots of various liqueurs down said luge, several while shoeless
-find relief in the fact that said shots didn't damage me as much as they damaged the bug zapper
-sleep 4 hours in a 25-hour day
-try to finish second keg during Patriots win on Sunday night
-a few things I won't share in this space